Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Great Blog for Parents

Finally checked out this blog
We sometimes make the assumption that parenting determines how a child will turn out. But if you think about it, it's actually very unusual for all the children in a family to have similar personalities, even though they have the same parents.
I am looking forward to reading more of this.

Two points:
1. Parents cannot, in my belief, change temperament. But good parenting works with temperament and does indeed determine how the child will turn out. A "leader" personality can be trained to compromise, look out for the needs of others, and taught good values. Or he could be left to become an obnoxious bossy kid who only looks out for #1. An energetic kid can be yelled at to sit down and eat his dinner quietly, or he can be made the "waiter", giving him ample opportunity to use his energy positively.

2. It's not just which number you are in the family (anyway, frum family size generally runs toward larger than the norm); it's also that parents are different people at different stages. I am not mothering my baby in the same way as I was mothering my first-born. Maybe I'm more patient about some things, and less patient about others. Our stresses also vary at different stages; sometimes finances, sometimes family issues - all these contribute to how we act and react to our children. And our children absorb our behavior differently at different ages. Just as an example, corporal punishment is perceived differently by a two-year-old than it is by a twelve-year-old.